Am i...pregnant?

Hahaha takde la surprise sgt pon sbb memang plan utk dapat another baby for next year.

Umur dah 31 hoi bila lagi kan.

Lagipon orang kata tak elok la jarak sgt or dekat sgt.

So i think 3 years gap will be just nice.

Umar dah 2 tahun 3 bulan.

So it just about time.

Yang penting umar dah wean off.

Perancangan Allah tuh terbaik.

Memang betul kita merancang Allah tentukan.

Nak ikotkan nak wean off umar tuh punyalah lama, tp baru 4 minggu lepas berjaya sepenuhnya.

Aku tak check pregnancy test lagi.

Tapi sbb 2 minggu stgh period lambat, and badan rasa bloated/ berangin2 gitu mmg confirm la tu.

Rasa loya tu sikit2 la ada kalau lambat makan/ isi perut.

So memang cnfirm la tu.

Paling best skg favourite food adalah roti letak hirisan cheese dan sosej and sos tomato pastu bakar.

Fuhhh dapnye.

So craving for cheese.

Orang kata kalau mengidam tu maksudnye body kita kurang nutrisi tu.

So maybe i need more iron la tu.

5 hari berturut2 snack ptg aku makan tu.

Umar aku baru introduce makan benda tu spy senang sekali arung je aku buat snack petang dia.

Mula2 dia reject, pastu da makan, bukan main suka keep on ckp "nak". Sabo je la.

Esok nak topup cheese, sos tomato and sosej. Dapnye.

Lain2 masih terlalu awal.

Tapi aku harap aku tak makan nasi terlampau byk.

Mengikut pregnancy lepas, aku overweight dari carta kenaikan berat badan sepatutnya masa pregnant.

Dulu time umar, before pregnant, is 49kg. Sebelom beranak 68kg kahkahkah. Kan ke kenaikan dekat 20kg tu.

Berat umar 3.23 kg je.

Naseb la berpantang bebetul n breastfeed some more dapat la 49kg balik.

Aku tak sempat nak beli pregnancy test la sbb last weekend bz go here n there.

Pastu weekdays stranded kat rumah, alip kol 8lebey baru smpai rumah.

Tak sampai ati nak drag dia g farmasi. Kol 10mlm kitorg dah call off the day. Betapa tua nya badan skg. Insyaallah weekend ni nak beli and check pregnancy test and nanti bebila g klinik.

Apapon aku bersyukur sgt2 aku mengandung kat rumah kali ni.

Boleh baring anytime i want smbil layan umar je.

Buat on9 business ngadap ipad je.

Dulu time umar kan kjr kat opis punya la looking fw kol 5.30ptg haha.

Nak nap tghari bukannye selesa sgt.

Syukur ya Allah atas keadaan skg.

So setiap kali umar jerit nak dukung time aku tgh masak pon aku berzikir je la dlm hati smbil dukung dia smbil masak haha sbb bagi aku it still better than be in the office.

Aku gigih masak setiap hari sbb kalau tak nak makan apa dong. Lakiku dah la balik mlm. Hehe lawan je rasa loya tu sambil baca Lailahailaantasubhanakainnikuntuminazzalimin. 

Tentang umar

Umar bulan 1 ni kitorg nak anto ke playschool. Dekat ngn rumah je. Harap ada rezeki hantar situ.

Skg memang dia da byk ckp, so aku pon da start potty train dia 2 hari lepas.

Sbnrnye nak start 2 minggu lepas, tp lepas arwah mama pergi, aku take time utk ok, so minggu ni baru aku bersemangat nak train umar.

Alhamdulillah ok la first day ada la incident terkencing kat carpet pastu ok dah kencing kat toilet.

2nd day, terberak kat dlm seluar time aku tgh nap. Huwaaa time aku jaga punyala 10x bwk g toilet ok je x berak. Time aku nap boleh plak nak berak.

Cmne aku boleh nap time umar tido. Harini waktu nap umar haywire.

Dia bangun seawal 7.30 pagi. Nap pukul 1-2ptg je. Geram je aku. Tak smpat aku nak rest.

So aku terpaksa nap jap sbb dah weng penat. So there goes my 5 mins nap?

Haha and it's gonna be 2 soon.

Umar kan dia mempunyai masalah takot mandi shower.

So sbb malas aku nak layan drama dia nangis time mandi lagi, skg aku kasi dia mandi dlm bath tub balik.

Bukan main suka taknak kua dari toilet plak.

Tp bagusla. Dari melalak kan.

Aku tengok dia in better mood, tak cranky lepas berendam mandi lama.

Aku la penat nak melayan. Tp ok je dari layan dia nangis horror tol apa ntah neighbour aku pk kan.

Mesti dorg kata aku tak pandai jaga anak hahaha.

Lepas dia 2 tahun ni dia da tahu tantrum.

Menakutkan. Dulu aku selalu pk tantrum tu cmne.

Now rasa la haha.

Takpe ni temporary je aku percaya nti da masuk playschool ok la tu.

Mak tak sabar uollls. 4 hours of my me time!!!! Huhuu

Btw thank you for all the wishes regarding my mil passed away.

So i thought i was tough

Until this 2 days i keep on cry when im alone.

Actually takde istilah alone sbb aku sentiasa dengan umar n dah start busy balik uruskan business.

Cuma...bila time waktu solat and waktu nak tido...mesti aku rasa sedih sgt.

The memory that nite keep on coming.

Masa dapat news a day before mama pergi kan, time yang alip dapat news dari doc tu, aku sedih sgt mlm tu aku tros solat hajat n baca yassin.

Masa the next day, aku senyap2 whatsapp adik bongsu alip suh balik dari boot camp takot dia tak sempat jumpa mama.

Alhamdulillah mira tros balik sempat jumpa mama.

Masa nak pack brg balik, aku siap letak dlm luggage besar, husband nye instinct mcm nak jaga mama lama kat hospital, instinct aku, mungkin kena dok bangi few days if anythg happen...

Siap aku nak bawakkan baju melayu husband siap2 tapi husband in the room nanti dia pelik. So aku tak pack baju melayu dia. Cuma aku berkali2 pesan suh dia bawak byk baju balik.

Aku tau, semua tuh Allah yang gerakkan hati aku.

Aku tau semua ni take time untuk aku boleh ok sbb aku nampak semua depan mata kan.

I even cant go to bangi today. Dorg buat tahlil untuk family dekat rumah je sbb malam jumaat.

Lepas arwah mama g dah buat tahlil 3 malam kat surau.

Alip kata kalau aku nak g, jumpa kat bangi. Sbb dia kjr kan. Lepas kjr plan dia tros dia nak ke sana.

Tapi aku suh alip je g.

Aku betul2 rasa lemah rasa nak pegang stereng pon aku tak mampu. Aku tak rasa aku mampu nak drive sendiri tadi.

Aku bukan la jenis yang lemah2 ni.

Aku rasa semangat aku masih lemah. I need time to get tru this.

Last 2 weekend arwah mama and the rest baru je dtg rumah aku makan soto ayam.

Tak sangka tu yang terakhir kali aku dapat serve untuk mama.

Walaupon tak sihat, arwah mama still teman papa dtg johor dtg wedding adik aku bulan 4 haritu.

Okla takmo terkenang byk sgt nanti hidung tersumbat takle tido lagi.

Selepas mama pergi...

Some of you might already know what happen n some may not know yet.

So im just gonna put screenshot here rajin2 baca kie..

Alfatihah untuk mama.

Now lets talk about what happened that nite and after that sad day.

- my phone was out of credit so i tried to call family members using the hospital phone but the nurse said it was not direct call. So the nurse just lend me her handphone to call the family members. May Allah bless her kindness.

- day 1 seems difficult to everyone since not sleep all day long and at the same time visitors keep on coming till day 3. But we are so thankful for all the prayers and doas. 

- umar's fever gone on day 2 arwah mama passed away. On day 1, because he had fever, he didnt cranky at the hospital and sleep quite long from 4am until 9am. I am somehow thankful as i have enough time to read yassin few time, help the family members untuk uruskan jenazah and all. Tho too weng that day not sleep as having too much coffee. 

- everyone looks better in day 2 as had enough sleep. Visitors came, i clean up the fridge, SILs clean up the houses, and other family members help the whatsnot.

- we became more open on discussing what to do after this. Everyone seems supportive towards each other. Definitely not easy as arwah mama is the heart of the house. Coudnt imagine the next raya and all. But life must goes on.

- it was easy for me to sleep on the pass 2 nites because umar had a fever and im so tired handling him by the end of the day. But yesterday it was tough for me to sleep as the flash of the memory keep on coming. I able to sleep when umar wake up and wants me to hug him to sleep. Im glad as it helps me to sleep too.

- today is better. Insyaallah tomorrow ill be ready to promote back my items on my on9 shop. I still manage to entertain customer nye order in those difficult time pass 3 days.

- we all just hantar baju self laundry tuh. Im glad finally found 1 that near to our house. So no stress at all handling kain baju after balik rumah sendiri.

Okla da ngntuk dah alhamdulillah. Found old picture of this:-

Papa n mama with umar masa kecik. Time ni mama masih sihat.

Takde gambar baru arwah mama n umar sbb umar lepas setahun memang tak memberi kerjasama langsung untuk bergambar. Mesti shaking la hapela nyampah.

My husband pon da ok and esok dia da start naik kjr. 

Semoga Allah kuatkan semangat kami semua setiap hari selepas ini.

Bila diuji

Malam semalam si umar ni demam.

Tapi smlm nye demam ok tak terok sgt sbb dia still byk bebel before tido.

Harini start bangun pagi td demam pastu aku notice dia tak bgun mlm td for fm, cuak la kan aku.

Tros aku bgun kan dia kol 9 pagi mandikan air sejuk, pakai sleeveless, minum fm and kasi breakfast.

Lepas breakfast baru aku kasi dia ubat demam.

Lepas sejam baru dia active mcm selalu.

Petang bangun dari nap demam balik.

Kali ni mcm lagi terok sbb lepas mandi, bagi makan, bagi ubat demam, demam nye tak turun.

So aku mandikan lagi sekali tadi.

Kasi fm dia tros tido lepas minum.

So aku sponge2 with towel basah every half an hour.

Kesian jugak tido dia terganggu tp biasa la mak2 mana boleh tengok je anak sakit.

Padahal badan aku pon tak berapa sedap ni.

Tekak pon tak sedap.

Cepat baik plz.

Terima berita mengejutkan yg MIL warded sebab lelah dari kelmarin.

My MIL cancer tyroid stage 4.

Jumpa last weekend nampak ok. Tp pelik jugak sbb umar masa nak balik tu jerit nangis2 "maktokk".

Sbb kitorg lepak petang tu tunggu MIL balik tahlil tp da nak maghrib tak balik, so kitorg pon nak gerak le ke damansara sbb sok nye alip kjr kan.

Pastu masa nak ke ktr baru MIL balik dari tahlil.

Umar agaknye tak puas lepak rumah maktok (which i still think umar acting weird), tu yg dia nangis.

I hope nothg's bad.

I hope umar cepat recover demam n active la mcm selalu.

Takpela if mummy penat macam mana pon janji umar sihat.

Esok mummy bwk umar jalan2 naik escalator kie kalau umar sihat.

N i hope my MIL cepat recover.

She's such a strong and kind hearted mom.

Ok la tak leh tido otak pk memacam n nak sponge umar lagi jap g.

Adjustment process dan servis kutip parcel dari rumah

Tentang wean off

Dulu aku sentiasa wonder macam mana la umar ni nak wean off sbb mcm takde tanda langsung akan wean off. Paling seram masa dlm keter and waktu mlm nak tido. Time tu lama nye mengempeng. Umar bila nak bfeed, dia jerit je nak susu.  Kalau tak dpt habis la tangisan dia ko kena hadap. Takde toleransi langsung. Mungkin doa yang tak putus2 dan usaha yg tak putus2 alhamdulillah membuahkan hasil. Memudahkan segalanya. Dan proses bercerai susu bukan la sekelip mata. Almost a year of effort. Mula2 ajar minum fm with bottle and sippy cup. But end up umar prefer drink his milk tru bottle and minum air masak with sippy cup. Takpe janji dia selesa. Lepastu time nak kasi minum fm mesti nk ngadap ipad je. Skg bye2 ipad. Umar dah boleh minum fm tanpa ipad. Dalam keter pon takde masalah letak dlm car seat, kasi fm, settle pastu dia berangan jap n tido. Kalau dia da minum fm dari rumah or dah kenyang, dia tido je kat carseat dia. 

Kaki tido dlm keter hehe. Btw aku pakai sweetcherry carseat je. 

Aku kasi fm dlm 3x or 4x sehari. Depends on his demand. Kadang2 pagi tak kasi sbb depend dia bgun dia good mood mintak makan or nangis mintak susu dulu. Haha. Kalau dia mintak makan, dia lupa susu smpaila dia bgun nap petang. Aku cuba bagi dia byk makan. Tp memang byk pon dia makan. 

Skg malam da bijak sikit. Aku da prepare letak milk powder dlm bottle siap2. Biasa dia terbgun jam 2.30 sambil jerit "susu bottle". So aku just letak air panas and air masak. Kalau breastfeed dia panggil "susu mummy". Sekali je la dia tbgun pastu tido smpai kol 8.30 pagi. Biasa tetengah mlm dia minum susu tu pas habis boleh dia campak je ke lantai. Naseb la botol susu ko semua memurah umar. 3 biji bottle baru RM15. Haha boleh byk kali beli da smpai time buang setiap 6 bulan kann.

1 thing bila ko decide utk wean off, ko kena invest kat bottle susu, formula milk, thermos and diapers.

Fm = more kencing hahahaha.

So insyaallah sok lusa aku akan start train dia for potty train.

Since umar pon da pandai ckp.

Since duduk rumah kan, gunakan la peluang sebaik mungkin.

Btw just nak wish other moms yg tgh stress anak tak wean off lagi, bykkan bersabar kie.

Berdoa byk2, talk to your kids byk2 and never give up and never offer unless they ask for it.

Once you decide, and it success, never offer back. Teeheee

Hobi saya memanjat.

Btw umar skg bila dia da tak ngempeng, asikla suh aku nyanyi memacam smpai dia tido. Sampai kering tekak aku ok. Kadang2 dia pandai tido kat katil dia sendiri kdg2 nak tido atas aku. Aku redha since dia da wean off, apa saja umar. Mummy tak kisah. Kalau dia tetido atas aku nti aku angkat letak dia atas katil dia. Gituh la. Now space aku lebih selesa weeee. So dun worry kalau dulu korg bfeed masa baby, baby tido ngn korg. When the time come, the kids will sleep on their bed by their own. Enjoy la moment share katil ngn baby tu. 2 tahun je. Haha. Actually takde masalah if korg attach cot mcm aku. Alihkan je dia ke cot bila dia tengah lena. Now aku ubah kedudukan katil dia kasi umar more privacy. Kasi dia panjat katil dia sendiri. Surprisely he enjoy his own space!

Ok move on.

Tentang easyparcel.my. (Servis kutip parcel dari rumah)

Kedua nak cter tentang easyparcel.my.

Dulu dah pernah dengar pasal benda ni tp rasa online shop aku tak ready lagi.

Now dah ready for it.

Sbb nak lebih jimat masa, tenaga dan kos.

Seriously any stay at home mom yang baru nak start on9 business boleh cuba kie.

Just top up RM100 je credit nti dorg dtg rumah kutip parcel.

Takya susah2 dukung anak sambil pos 5 barang customer sambil jerit2 anak tak reti duduk diam. Hahaha mcm kenal je.

Umar makin aktif so mmg ini lah waktu nye.

Tq to my SIL who recommend it.

Dah la flat rate RM5 even parcel ko 1kg. Wau sgt.

Aku masih kagum.

Tp ko kena ada printer tau.

Saja je share ngn korg. Good news kena la share.

Dia tak kisah walaupon ko ada minimum 1 parcel je nak anta aritu dia akan kutip dari rumah.

So bye2 umar dah takle pau mummy ice cream or naik escalator lagi.

Nak naik escalator tunggu daddy weekend je haha.

Haha ok la nak tdo awal tnite sok memacam nak buat!

Day 3 and 4 raya

Masa day 3 raya tu seawal pukul 6.30 dah bgun n bersiap tanpa iron baju raya sbb kat hotel budget kitorg tido tu takde iron. Ok maybe ada but too tired to ask.

A nite before we arrived pretty late around 11.30pm.

Raya ke 3 plan nye beraya di muar.

Our arwah atuks belah abah from muor.

Dulu tradition setiap raya pertama di muor.

Now bila both atuks da takde, tradition nye raya ke tiga di muor berkumpul adik beradik abah.

Abah kata pukul 8 pagi kena gerak.

So pukul 7.30 pagi kitorg checkout hotel gerak to rumah abah yg cuma 5 minit je dari hotel.

Sampai2 umar tak puas bfeed lagi. (Remember he havent wean off lagi time ni).

Agaknye dia pon masih penat dari smlm pastu xdpt mengempeng mengamuk plak.

Try pujuk with fm gagal.

Dah la nak kena bertolak secepat mungkin. Huwaa.

Naseb husband offer utk iron baju dia n baju aku.

Still it's not easy to handle cranky umar.

Family aku gerak dulu and by 9am baru kitorg gerak.

Now terpk heaven nye if raya aritu umar dah wean off mcm skg.

Before gerak drive tru mcd dulu.

Yg penting perot husband n umar.

Aku biasa2 je x lapar sgt more to mengantuk n penat.

Aku kalau penat nak tido je. Makanan boleh tolak tepi.

Ohs but a coffee will heals everythg haha.

Damn sok pagi knr beli coffee.

Sampai muor ada tahlil sikit for both arwah atuk.

Umar masih cranky nak tarik aku g belakang rumah.

Orang tengah tahlil kat dlm aku main buai kat belakang.

Ohs i miss this swing. Umar jakun tak pernah jumpa this kind of swing so he refuse to sit on it.

Pastu dia nak berjalan2 kat belakang tp nak aku ikot.

Mula2 layan la pastu hari makin panas, malas tau.

Kunun nak mingle around sikit with sedara mara n sepupu2 x dpt sgt sbb umar mood melekat.

Imagine adam anak namee roslan yg namee selalu cter tu. Cmtu la umar.

Umar if time moody dia dtg haper pon takle.

I know dia lapar but i didnt prepare anythg for his lunch.

He didnt eat ketupat with rendang.

At least kena ada sup or ayam goreng.

Well, raya kan.

Lgpon mood dia tgh cranky gitu jgn harap la dia nak telan paper.

So i just let him bfeed and minum air masak je.

Umar ni kalau lapar cmne pon bukan reti ckp lapar.

Now dah wean ni, pandai plak tetiba jerit nak pancake or jerit nak nasi.

Which i like. At least i know what he wants.

So terkejar2 nak amik gambar family with sedara mara and all.

It's our ritual when gets together.

Aku join mana yg cpt n pantas.

Yg lambat nak susun2 org pastu umar cranky n jerit bye2 le.

Our complete family. Hehe

With sepupu sepapat.

Kunun nak ikot our family g beraya di melaka rumah atok2 sedara tp husband da penat and umar is very cranky we cancel the idea n tros ke servis apartment ayah alip. Means it's time to say goodbye to our family. Sobs.

Sampai ke apartment melaka pon aku masih no mood. 

Makan bekal mak kasi pon aku sob sob sob.

Rindu nak berkumpul balik dengan the whole family and talk about almost anythg. Pfft.

Apapon life goes on rite.

Mlm tu kitorg makan kat secret receipe mahkota parade.

Sayu tol rasa sbb raya ketiga malam dah mkn kat luar. Sigh.

The next day husband kata jom la g melawat kapal selam melaka which i dunno the existing for all this while haha. 

Rm3 je tp i kan i rasa baik korg takya g.

Takde bender pon.

Lucky it's near to klebang beach! Weeee husband said before this they renovate the place and now they just reopen it to the public.

No wonder the beach so clean!

We spend about an hour here playing kite, and drinking coconut shake.

Unexpected plan turns out so much fun. :)

Umar love play the kite he dun want to go back.

Dorg tgh main kite aku minum air coconut shake yg stgh jam aku beratur nak beli. Huhu

Tros mood sayu sedih tinggalkan parents tu terubat sikit ekeke

Nanti kita pergi beach lagi k umar?

Im a beach lover :p

Definitely will go here again!!